Cool thing that happened today - we had See You At the Pole. Except it was at an elementary school, so obviously not a lot of show from kids. A local Hispanic pastor started it up at the last minute. There were only about 10 teachers there, 2 or 3 parents, and a few kids. The minister said he couldn't speak or pray because he wasn't at the school and he asked if someone would pray. Nobody spoke up, so I volunteered. It was neat to get to pray with people I work with. I am really looking for little windows of opportunity with parents and any teachers there. I'm really looking for opportunities that God might be pointing me towards. So, pray with me on that.

I've also considered starting a Bible study of sorts before school for any intersted teachers, but I will not move a muscle until I feel that I am clearly directed by God. I am a newbie there and don't want to rock any boats or make anyone uncomfortable. It would have to be smack me upside the head direction to start that.

So, just wanted to make a quick post - wow, this one isn't a book long!! :)

Love yall!

So, a brief interruption in my series on motherhood. Well, let's say a sidebar as it still relates somewhat.

Something to know about me, I am one of those type-A personalities, although not insanely a strong one - not the stereotypical type-A, but enough of a type-A that stress can pile up and really cause me to flip out a tad. So, the past couple of weeks have been stressful to say the least. I can get pretty Eeyore-ish (you know, the Pooh donkey) when it comes to stress. Eeyore is the ultimate martyr, the one nobody loves, and whose life is all doom and gloom. I can get that way at times. Not the nobody loves me part, but definitely my life is the worst, my life is horrible, everything goes wrong. These Eeyore moments only last an hour or two and usually follow me doing something like balancing the checkbook or having a bad day... ha ha! But, I've been in a slight Eeyore mood these past couple of weeks/months. Some would say rightfully so, and I've enjoyed licking my wounds. Thankfully, God is always working to improve us.

So, I went to church yesterday and Bro. David is doing a sermon series entitled, "Written In Red: What Jesus Says About..." For those of you that aren't LH attenders, this includes sermons on what Jesus says in the Bible about various topics such as heaven, hell, money, relationships, worry, Himself, and more. So, last week was on hell, but I missed it because I was doing drama with children. Yesterday was on heaven. Bro David talked about all the good things about heaven, the fact that ANYONE can go if they want to, but you do have to have reservations. You do have to commit your life to Christ before you go - you can't wait until you're at the pearly gates. I wish I could link you to his two sermons online, but our website doesn't have those up yet. I will get those linked on here as soon as they are available. But, I really liked the "no-mores" part of his sermon. He had been to a funeral where it rained and was just depressing - all funerals are, but this one was just especially depressing. He commented that heaven was the land of no-mores - no more tears, no more funerals, no more cancer diagnosis, no more worry about a loved one's suffering. Won't that be great - no more funerals ever???? I thought of mom and my grandfathers and all the people that had passed. I thought of the struggle of our day to day lives and how that will be no more. Bro. David talked about that in heaven we will have times of reunion with friends and family. What a great day that will be! Jeff Lemmons sang a song about our relatives walking us through the streets of gold showing us the sights. I don't know if that's how it will be, but it's a nice thought, and I know heaven is better than we can even imagine. Anyway, so then we sang, and I just sang and sang longing for the time of heaven to come and our next world. Licking my wounds still a little. But something was nagging the back of my mind as well.

Just yesterday morning before church, we heard a story on the news (some of you may have heard it earlier) where a woman in IL was murdered by her babysitter, a friend she had grown up with. Not only that, but the woman cut out the murdered woman's unborn baby who was seven months old, tried to take him to the hospital t pass him off as her own, and the baby died. To make it worse, she had taken the woman's three other children, ages 7, 2, and 1, drowned them, and then stuffed the seven year old in the dryer and the 2 and 1 year old in the washer. Oh, it makes my stomach sick. Horribly brutal.

In the midst of my Eeyore-isms, I got a flash of those poor children and that mother. What that scene must have been like, and I wondered what kind of person (with children of her own) could do that to a lifelong friend and her children. Oh, then I really began to long for heaven. I thought of the horrible, obscene things that we here happening on this earth and what a contrast those are to the glory and love of God. What Christ must think as He looks down upon us. It makes me sick! I cried for that family as we sang about heaven, and I really wished for heaven then.

Last night, I even had a dream. (Okay, two dreams, one was about the Gilmore Girls girl - the daughter - moving to my small town in Hawaii and she was early pregnant, obvious only to me apparently - I asked her if she was pregnant, but her Gilmore Girl's mom jumped in and denied it rather vehemently. Suspicious eh?) Ok, back on subject. So, my other dream was so scary that I woke up tense and terrified. I was living somewhere, and next door to me I could hear a woman being abused. I heard the slaps, I heard her thrown up against the wall, I heard her cries, and it scared me to death. I woke up glad that it was just a dream, and I felt God telling me, yes it was, but it's a reality for women's lives everywhere. There are women and children every single day who live a life of hellish atrocities. Ones they feel they cannot speak of but only accept with fear. I did some research in HS and college about abused women. One study compared them to a dog that is in a cage. Everytime the dog tries to leave and go through a door, he gets a shock from the door. This is repeated so often that even when the cage is left wide open and the door removed, the dog is so terrified of the shock that he won't even attempt to leave. The same with abused women, they are so fearful of the abuse, they can't leave even when there is a clear, safe way out.

God really spoke to me last night and said, get over yourself, really - YOUR life is horrible? Because you have the means to work? Because your children are in safe, Christian environments? Of course I never consciously thought of my life being worse than an abused woman's. But, I think everyone can get that way at times. We lose perspective, we spiral into self-pity, and we become Eeyores.

Needless to say, God has put my life in perspective. Bro. David also touched on the fact that ALL will bow down to Christ on that glorious day. We sang the song about "all will say, 'Glorious'". That woman who killed those children will bow down and say Glorious. Kings will surrender their crowns, Hitler will bow down, the most horrible, evil people this world has seen will bow down and worship Christ. Everyone. All wrongs will be made right. And all will come to the knowledge that Jesus is our Lord and Savior and that He should be worshipped! WHO HOO!!!!!! What a day that will be. Everyone will worship Christ, but how much better for the ones who will worship Christ and stay in heaven than the ones who will worship Christ with sorrow that they did not follow him and must go live an eternity in hell?

Who cares if I am working or not with my children? That is not my sole purpose on this earth. My purpose is to bring as many people to Christ so that they may join with me on that day and get to STAY in heaven. To worship Christ with full joy and love, not with a heart that is convicted once it is too late. So, I have many of you in my prayers. Those that don't have a TRUE relationship with Christ. I'm not talking about the I go to church once a week and love God relationship. I'm talking about a relationship with Christ.

Think about relationships we have with friends and family. We miss them when we don't spend time with them. We have a desire to know what is going on and care about what their thoughts are about us. The same with Christ. You don't have to have a quiet time daily to prove your relationship with Christ. But, when you miss a day or two, do you miss God? Do you miss the closeness of your relationship with him? Matt 7:21-23 says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' " The bible talks about that there will be people that get to heaven and say, But, God, I love you, you are my Lord. And He will say, I never knew you. There are people who think that they are Christians that aren't.

Do you remember a specific day that you COMMITTED your life to Christ? Do you remember saying, Jesus take control and meaning it. There has to be a specific time in your life that you made that decision. Jesus asks us to mark that time in our lives with baptism. Baptism doesn't save you, but it shows your obedience and commitment to Christ. And, a marker of a true relationship with Christ is that you don't make decisions on your own. You dont' do what your flesh wants to do, you follow CHRIST! Salvation is not being a good person. There are lots of good people I know, some friends, that are not saved. Being saved is not having gone to church all of your life and being a good person. And once you're a Christian, this doesn't mean that you don't make mistakes. I mess up all the time!! There are plenty of people whose lives look better than mine who are not saved. But, it's your heart - do you strive to follow God, do you have a hunger for him?, do you want to do his work, is your life based on his plans and his will?

My prayer is for those of you that are not saved. And those people I come into contact with that I don't know. Give me the eyes of Christ Lord. Let me see the people that I need to touch. But, also, I pray, as Bro. David said yesterday, that God brings everything necessary into your life to bring you to him whether it be pain and sorrow or not.

Give your life to Christ before it's too late. You will bow down to him one day or another anyway. Do it with joy and not regret. Come hang out in the land of no-mores with me and all the saints of the past and the glory of God!

I know I've gotten preachy, but I really feel passionate about this. If you need more information, ask me or check out this website! KNOWJESUS

I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Stay at Home Mom vs. The Working Mom, Part One
THE SHAPING

So, here's the first of what will become a series of posts that I've been tumbling over and over in my head, but I'm just not sure how to go about it or whether to even go there. This is such an interesting topic in our society, and I think especially in the South. It seems to be such a hotly contested topic; one that women, and even men, take strong opinions on. It's a topic that often causes women, myself included at times, to be judgmental of other women.

Especially for me at this time, going back to work has given me some fresh insight with this. There have been different points in my life when I have been on both sides of the fence as far as my beliefs. But this new experience has caused me to re-analyze some of my opinions.

I have to begin by sharing my experiences with my own mother. My experiences with my own mother "shape" my own style and beliefs of mothering second only to the Bible. She is a huge influence in how I mother my own children. I'd say that is true in most people's lives. You take some things that your parents did and determine you will NEVER do that. I'd say 80% of those we end up doing ourselves, are appalled at the moment we realize we are repeating the thing we vowed never to do, and then understanding a glimpse into what it must have been like to have been our own parents. My parents become better and better parents the older my children get! :) But, there are some things that we don't want to repeat. Myself? I want our house to really be a hangout for all my kids' friends. My mom stressed a lot about the cleaning and all that. I want our house, especially as our kids get older, to just be that cool place to hang out. Now, again, I may change once I get to that stage... we'll see.

On the same token, there are some things you take from your parents that you definitely want to repeat and instill with your own children whether it be traditions, beliefs, or just general runnings of the household. My mom's cooking, standards of cleanliness, and ability to really listen to us, and her 100% enthusiasm about whatever it was we were doing is what I would take from her. From my father, I love his logical mind that thinks through things so thoroughly, his wise money sense, his sarcastic humor which I have undertaken well, and his laugh. Of course, most people identify with their same sex parent the most. Your same sex parent "shapes" the way you parent in a huge way. We have become our mothers in a sense; we have become people that could have perhaps been friends with our own mothers had we been parenting at the same time. It's an eye-opening experience. So, I have to write the history of my own "shaping" before I can delve into my beliefs about motherhood.

Growing up, my mom always stayed home. She was always there to take me and pick me up from school, bring me something that I forgot at home (okay, often not happily), and even as I got older and was driving, she was ALWAYS there.

As I was younger, I for the most part, enjoyed my mother being at home. There were some negatives - if I breathed wrong at school, she ALWAYS found out about it. She was at school often - like all the time. Mom was always going on field trips (again, couldn't get in any trouble, but I always got cool stuff at the gift shops), doing holiday parties at school, and helping out wherever she could. One time she dressed up as Miss Piggy, like all out, to do some party for my brother or sister's school. She tutored, did yearbooks, wherever they needed her she was there; she was a huge asset to the school, and I liked her involvement most of the time.

There were some negatives. My mom was the only mother of my group of friends who tried on lipstick in fourth grade that found out. She was there all the time, my teacher told her, and he knew my mother wouldn't stand for that.

My fifth grade teacher and my mom became good friends, and I had to go over to her house for dinner one time. She came to our house several times too. That was totally weird at the time; she was a great teacher, and I really liked her - just weird to mix my two worlds.

And, in sixth grade, we had a sub for field day, and I being the class dare-devil, decided to tie our teacher's shoelaces together. I crawled on my tummy, army-style, snuck to our substitute, and tied her shoes together - it was a success! I ruled too; everyone loved it! Feeling her feet tied together when she went to move them to stand up kept her from falling or anything really cool, so that was a letdown. Still a great prank. Somehow she figured out it was me. Maybe the class ratted me out - I don't remember. So, of course, we went out to field day, and of COURSE my mother was there - she was always there! I figured I'd be okay if the sub didn't put two and two together - there were tons of kids and parents and teachers there. We're walking up as a class and my sub says, "Cathy!!!" (my mom's name) and my mom says her name in an equally ecstatic tone, and they hug. I knew I was done for. They knew each other from way back when somewhere. My mom asked her what she was doing there; the sub said she was subbing for Mrs. Garrett's class! ... Oh wow! My daughter is in Mrs. Garrett's class! Do you know Sarah?... The sub laughs, oh, yes, I do! And she tells my mom my shoe incident while I snuck away. Thankfully, the sub somehow had a great sense of humor about it, the day was a long one with field day, my mom was in a good mood, and I didn't get in much trouble. That lack of grounding for 8 years there still baffles me!

As I got older, especially in high school, I still liked for the most part that mom was there. There were times I wanted to just come home, talk on the phone all afternoon, and have whoever I wanted to come over until my parents got home. That's what most of my friends got to do. I envied their freedom. In hindsight, that's the reason why moms SHOULD be home when their children are in high school. Who knows how much trouble I could have gotten in during those hours. So, there were times I just wished she wasn't there to make me start homework or clean my room. But, there were also LOTS of afternoons that I would come home and just talk to my mom about whatever was interesting throughout the day. Junior and high school is a BRUTAL time in anyone's life. Kids are so mean to each other, hormones are raging, teachers are harder - it's just a tough time.

Even when I went to college, I thought I would explode if I had to spend one more day at home during the summer after my senior year. I could not wait to get away from my mom - as far as possible - she drove me crazy! But, the night my parents left to go back home after dropping me off, I sat on my dorm room bed, 5 hours from home, at a campus where I didn't know ONE SINGLE PERSON (my choice), and I cried. My mom had left cards from my brother, sister, and each of my parents. My mom's touched me the most. I had been out to go to a test or some freshmen orientation. I came back, and my parents were gone because my orientation had gone a lot longer and they had five hours to drive and Sunday School classes to teach in the morning. They had bought me a refrigerator, TONS of groceries, and all kinds of just little things that I would need. I had been awful to both of them part of that day, just griping about anything that didn't go exactly my way. I sat there looking at all of the thoughtful things they had bought me and ways she had fixed up my room - things to make my life as comfortable as possible in a dorm room and to feel like home, and I was overwhelmed by their love. And, at that moment, I just wanted to go back and live at home.

I got over it pretty fast, and loved college life - a little too much I suppose. I didn't come home for many breaks choosing to spend them with friends. I pushed my parents away in that sense, but boy, if things went wrong, they were the first ones I ran to. My mom would often say that I would call her, give her the big dramatics that occurred that day that were of course the end of my world resulting in a truly broken heart. I would call and cry and cry and she would make me feel better. I'd get off, having talked through everything, feel better, and go along my way. Mom was left on the other end, totally burdened for me, worried about her baby 5 hours away, and would worry and worry for days about whatever tragedy I'd called about. She'd call to check on me a couple of days later, and she would inevitably ask how the situation with such and such was going. I often remember saying, "What? What are you talking about? .... Oh! That was days ago, yeah, I remember now I told you about that. No, that was great.... I don't remember how it worked out, but it's fine... But, let me tell you the horrible thing that happened today..." And, she would listen patiently again.

I notice it more now that mom has died than I did before, but a mother is the only person in your life that really cares about every single little detail. She is the only one that is willing to stop and drop everything to listen to the most mundane details in your life, analyze them to great lengths, and talk about all possible courses of action in response as well as the pros and cons of each.

We like to think that we would do that for a friend or even another close family member, but when it comes down to it, our lives are just to busy to listen to all of that. And the emotional investment to get that involved in someone else's life is just often too much. That's the unique thing about the role of mother. A mother's only focus is giving to her child - she listens, worries, does for, takes care of - always giving, giving, giving - without the expectation of reciprocity. Ever. Friendships are based on give and take, as they should be. A friend who takes up too much of the emotional energy or is too needy is not being balanced. It throws the whole friendship out of whack. That's the way friendships were designed. But, your mother, that's the one relationship where we are able to be more selfish; we go to our mothers and just absorb their love, care, concern, and pity. Yes, pity; sometimes it's nice to have your mom just feel sorry for you and acknowledge that something in your life stinks. And then, moms somehow make it better, even if it's with just listening and holding you, fixing your favorite dinner, or taking you shopping.

I suppose that this gets a little more balanced as we get older. I wouldn't have experience in this area. But, I know friends whose moms are now their best friends. I think as we get older, our moms are able to talk to us about some trials or things that bother them like something at work, or getting fatter and out of shape, or what to wear somewhere. We can become more of equals. But, I still think as far as deeply emotional problems, most mothers don't ever, or in my mind shouldn't, depend on their daughters for those deeply emotional things. The precedent is set that the daughter can share with her mother her deepest heartaches, and perhaps the mother shares those with her friends, her husband, or her own mother if she's still alive. I could be off base there.

So, there's the history of my "shaping". I, growing up, had a great, solid mom at home. That's not to say she didn't have her share of mistakes. There were a LOT of things that were wrong too. But, my overall impression of her is that loving, caring persona. Maybe it's what I choose to remember now that she is gone; either way, that's what I remember. And it shapes who I am as a mother and who I want to be.

Stay tuned for part two soon where I will really get into the two sides of this issue. Just a postnote, it will be great in the meantime to hear similar stories from anyone else who wants to share. I think people's childhoods and what shaped them are insanely interesting! So, comment, comment, comment!

So, Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter... tragic that he died and left his wife with two small children to care for on her own. I'm sure they are financially stable. I heard on the radio this morning that the little girl that is 8 is about to start her own "animal" show on the Discovery Channel following in the footsteps of her father. This is due to her own passion for animals. Steve Irwin was a great defender of the animals and a big environmentalist. He has been touted as a great educator as well. I'm sure all these are true, although I will not say that just because he died that I loved his shows. I at the time thought he was stupid for taking the risks he did, especially holding his baby while wrestling crocodiles, and the show in general kind of grated on my nerves. But, that's okay, he did a lot of good for animals apparently.

What gets me is the reaction to his death. Yes, it is sad, but the Australians are treating him as a national icon of sorts. Like all the flags in a particular area are flying half mast in his honor, etc. They gave out 5,000 tickets or so within 15 minutes to his memorial. Okay, so the guy was popular. A little skewed there, but I guess he brought Australia a lot of attention.

BUT, the most appalling thing to me is that people are so SHOCKED that he died. People feel so sorry for him and his family. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish that on anyone and sympathize for their loss. But, here's where we have to look at reality. The guy went out and jumped on crocodiles and all kinds of animals. The piece he was filming at this time was "Ocean's Deadliest". In fact, the article in USA Today stated one of his crewman saying "we always said that if he goes, it would be in the ocean..."He went on to say that he was really light on his feet on land, but just not as quick or competent in the ocean. Yet, where was he? Swimming with STINGRAYS! The pity-iers have said that people swim with and/or pet sting rays all the time, but the sting rays' stingers are cut off. Big difference there.

Again, I'm not saying that I don't recognize it as a sad situation, but duh, aren't you kind of asking for something like that to happen? When you play with fire you're going to get burned! Was anyone shocked to hear that he had died? And, if so, WHY? I heard it and was sad for the family but not surprised in the least bit. I'm surprised he made it this long.

Anyway, prayers for his family. I don't know whether or not he was a Christian. Stacey on WAY-FM was going on and on about being sad about his death this morning, but nothing was mentioned as to whether or not he was a Christian. This I am curious and care about. Of course, it's too late for him now, but we could pray in a particular direction for his family.

Enough rambling... CRIKEY! :)

Katie Smith is serving in Samoa alongside another former Long Hollow student Brian Smart. Brian has been there for a month or two (?), and Katie just left this week. They are there teaching school to Samoan children. You can check out both of their blogs for updates. Katie's and Brian's - it is so exciting to see how both of them have grown in the Lord. God is so good to give us a purpose and a job - what a bewildering concept that God allows us to be involved in kingdom work. I'm proud of them both and excited to see how God will use them directly in Samoa and indirectly in their influence here in America. I'm sure they would both appreciate your prayers.

Tom and Spinach...

So, Tom Cruise went and apologized a heart-felt apology to Brooke Shields. Apparently TO her house. Hmmm...

And, spinach - whoever heard of dying of spinach?? Craziness!

So, here's a question - I keep hearing things about the public opinion polls on George W's approval rating. My question is, who do they ask about that? You would think if they do TRUE public opinion polls that someone I know at some point in the last 20 years would have gotten a call to ask their opinion. Right? I've never gotten a call - never talked to anyone that's gotten a call. I listen to the telemarketers long enough to know what they are selling. So, have YOU ever gotten a public opinion poll call??

Good news is that the Prez's approval rating has increased from 30% to 40% - at least from those random people that are getting polled that I've never heard of...

School update - well, it's gone well. I have good kids in a good school with a good team. I even found out last week that I get to teach the highest level kids in Language Arts. I had them for the first time today and just thought I would almost laugh at how easy God is trying to make this on me. I have the top 25 kids or so in my class! It's almost hilarious when I see how God is working. They are going to be a good group to work with, and I will be able to use a lot of Language Arts materials from my experience with teaching older students. I am really growing to love my regular class as well. I love getting to know the students, finding out what makes them tick and what motivates them, and figuring out the best way to teach something. I do love love love to teach! It is a passion of mine.

The difference in teaching now and the first time is that teaching is not my primary passion. Jason and the kids are definitely my primary passion after my relationship with God. I think about them throughout the day. I get up extra early to get to school extra early to get my work done while they are asleep so that I can leave the minute I am allowed to get home to them. It's just different.

Last week was really hard, and there were lots of tears shed - mostly by me!! But, Friday and Monday I went without crying, and actually experienced some moments of realizing I was dressed up and at a workplace which was fun - that's something I think most stay at home moms miss a little bit. A nice change of pace. And, I do have moments where I catch myself having fun with the kids and having fun teaching! I think it will only improve, and I praise God for His TENDER LOVING mercies through this time.

Still keep the house situation in your prayers. The TX house is a huge dilemma right now, and we are really still praying about the best decision and route to go. The IL house has a contract on it which will be a great relief to my dad and Peggi. They have lost a lot of money on it which is really a hard thing, but I think they are glad to just be done with it. Just pray the sale goes through.

Thanks again for all your prayers!

THE BIG 3-0!!!

Yep, I'm 30. I have had a REALLY hard time with this. I know that is stupid and just seems vain in a way, but it has been a somewhat depressing birthday. Having to go to work on my birthday for the first time in a few years didn't help either and missing my babies, but I'm really having trouble with just the 30 part!

BUT, I also realized today that up until now, I have been in the age range category of the 20-29 year olds. My health, looks, weight, abilities, etc. have been within the framework of twenty-somethings. And, getting towards the TOP of that range was a little depressing. I would meet people 22 and think, oh, they are close to my age, but there was a world of difference. I now realize that being in the 30's, and being at the BOTTOM of that range is not so bad! I am the YOUNG one in the 30's and don't have to compare with 20 year old anymore. Not that I compare, but I just feel I can relax a little on weight and exercise issues. So, yea! Benefits of thirties! Eat that all you twenty-something friends.... :)

I must say that I am literally typing this with a piece of cake in my lap!! :)

Must give a big recognition to the hubby for throwing a FABULOUS surprise birthday party with my family. He literally did the most PERFECT birthday he could have. Like I couldn't have made it any better myself! Thanks babe! And thanks to all the fam who came and shared the evening! LOVE YOU!

Is this not the best picture ever??? I came home one night and there they were, both of them sacked out. I just sat and watched for a while, then took pictures, then videotaped - neither of them even moved. It was so adorable. There is nothing like seeing two loves of your life together - playing, whatever, but sleeping is even more precious!!! :) How blessed I am!
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A recent picture of a park trip. Zeke loved it, but got SO TIRED very quickly - too much exertion for a baby!

And Katie Beth goes to the park all prepared and decked out - purse, hat, watch and all - very cute and coordinated!! :)

And our son... all out boy, dirty, filthy, and digging for more! He loved the dirt!!! :)

The iceburg is used so frequently as motivation and analogies - so allow me a moment to use the overused analogy of the iceburg again... :)

You can only see the very tip of the iceburg; below the part we see above water are miles and miles of ice that support the tip of the little portion we do see. Hence the phrase, the "tip of the iceburg" usually used when describing just the beginning of something. As in, his drinking was just the tip of the iceburg in the murder of his wife - there were many more underlying problems that we didn't see.

To take a twist, our relationship with God is like an iceburg thank goodness! We see just the tip that God allows us to see. That's our extent and vision of life. But, God knows and sees the whole big picture! Would we want to see the whole thing at once? At first response, yeah, show me all that is going to happen... but, think about the last 10 or 15 years of your life. I know for us, we've faced some pretty tough things. I don't know that if God had told me everything we would struggle through and face that I'd want to go forward. Of course there are so many blessings, but often the fear of the bad can overcome the reward of the good, can't it? God, in His wisdom, only allows us to see the tip of the iceburg, just a tip of life. We have to trust that God sees the whole big picture and knows what's best.

That is a picture of our life lately... going back to teaching is not at all how I wanted God to answer our prayer about these houses and our financial situation. But, God sees the big picture. He knows all! I know this is where He has placed me at this time also because once I surrendered to that choice, He has opened doors quickly for me and blessed this search and the timing. God is so good. He is not our genie in the bottle, thank goodness, because just as the old show demonstrated, we would mess up life in a heartbeat wishing for things and getting them at our heart's desires... Here's a copy of the email I sent out:

Hey, I had gotten the job offer and accepted over the weekend, but the principal had said she just had to make sure she could actually hire me. There were teachers displaced from other schools from low numbers and they had to get placed first before they could hire someone new. I was still kind of wondering... I talked to admin yesterday and am going in to do paperwork tomorrow, and I worked on my room for a few minutes yesterday and met my team. So, I'm in! It's a fourth grade position which will be a change from my middle school background.

God has worked things out so smoothly! Here are some of the ways God has confirmed this choice in my life:

I decided on Wednesday to go back to teaching, by that afternoon I had gotten two phone calls and one email wanting me to interview. Twenty seven hours after deciding on Wednesday to go for a job, I had an offer. Twelve hours after that I accepted! So, within about 48 hours, I had a job two weeks into the school year. That's only God!

The principal is the wife of one of my high school teachers whom I really respected. She is a Christian, and she recognizes the importance of family. During the interview I told her I would want to come early and leave almost as soon as school is over unless there's a meeting or something special going on. She confirmed that she did the same when she had little ones, and even later she talked about traffic and said if I left somewhere between 3:15 and 3:45, I'd get home in plenty of time. School gets out at 3. For a principal to say you can leave within 15 minutes of school releasing is huge. Most principals really have some expectations about being there and putting in a lot of time. She is very laid back, and doesn't make us even turn in lesson plans - that is HUGE for a elementary school especially. Her philosophy of being a principal is that she will be around observing, but as long as I am in my classroom d oing my job, she is not going to micromanage. But, she'll be there anytime if I want her to observe a child or ask advice. This is like the IDEAL principal. And other teachers have confirmed this without me even bringing up the subject. That is only God!

In talking to my team yesterday, both women are moms and the other member is a guy on his second year of teaching. All were so willing to help out with whatever even offering to decorate my bulletin boards for me! (I'm going to do it myself, but still a nice offer). One of the teachers has a student teacher, and she is already going to make my copies and plans for me next week and have them ready. That same teacher encouraged me not to stay long after school when I told her Katie Beth and Everett's ages. She encouraged me to go home ASAP and to not take work home - to find a way during the day to get it done. To be on a team where people don't all stay after school to plan is huge. And taking out the "competitiveness" on some teams of look how much I got done last night and how late I stayed up is so refreshing. That's only God!

Our biggest concern were the kids. We had Tues, Thurs covered, and I "happened" to find the one of the few programs in Hendersonville that does MW and they "happened" to have a spot for each of them! THEN we were worried about trying to find a student who could come over for a couple of hours after MDO until we got home. We were worried about finding someone mature enough that we trusted, and we hoped for someone who could help pick up the kids to take some pressure off of Jason. His cousin's wife, Lori, who we know so well, has spent lots of time with our family and our kids, and I would trust to take our kids to the end of the earth is going to keep them!! (She's going to try it for a while to make sure it works schedule wise, but it gets us through the beginning if nothing else! And she can start this week!) We have no fears or worries about their care! That's only God!

I was talking to Carrie Sunday night and she asked when I started actually teaching. Most of the time in a situation like this they want you in the classroom ASAP. I did this my first year teaching and had about a day to get ready. I told Carrie my ideal would be to start the Tuesday after Labor Day, but I knew that wouldn't happen. Sure enough, the next day I got the email that I start the Tuesday after Labor Day! That gives a full week to transition the kids and get my room ready and spend time with my Mamaw as she comes in this weekend. That's only God!

I know this has been long, but I just see so clearly God's hand in this. I have been feeling I needed to go back to teach for a while, but I attributed it to my own stress and my own desire to fix things. It's so amazing to me how God has just confirmed all of this in my heart as soon as I surrendered. I don't understand why God has called me away from the home for now, but I believe whole-heartedly that this is where He has called me for now. I'm looking at the school as my mission field and just want to find a way I can share Christ in my new environment!

Thank you for all the prayers, and please continue them. I have no doubt that God has heard and has responded in a mighty way through this. Every aspect of this, outside of leaving my babies and the drive, is absolutely ideal. Praise God and thank you to each of you. Pray for the next couple of weeks as our family transitions from a one parent working family to a two parent working family. It has changed our entire family dynamic in just one day!

I love you!
Sarah

Crazy Tom! If you haven't heard, Paramount Pictures "separated"/FIRED Tom Cruise this week. The news station I watched claimed that Paramount was separating due to the low turnout to MI3. They listed three events that they believed led to the turnout - 1) his antics on the Today show, 2) his extreme involvement in Scientology (I'm sure it's not quite this way, but as a Christian, I think it is great that any organization in Hollywood stands up to say that they disagree with a star's involvement in Scientology - especially a star as visible as Tom Cruise), and 3) his whole Oprah aerobics (aerobics is my term, they actually said jumping on the couch...). I think this is great.

I personally used to LOVE Tom Cruise and couldn't watch enough Top Gun, Rain Man, and whatever else he's in. I feel he's gone off the deep end, and it's nice to see that someone is standing up to him. I think most people, even Matt Lauer, are tired of him. And, he ruined Katie Holmes, who I loved but now wonder what's in that pretty little head of hers to fall for such a bozo and put up with all that weirdo stuff... It almost wants me to break my South Park ban just to watch that episode.

Anyway, go Paramount!

But, of course, I'm reminded that we should pray for the guy as well as all of the people in Hollywood. We should also pray for our congressmen and politicians to be strong against being influenced by celebrities. I just saw a news clip that Tom was in Washington this week lobbying or pushing or doing something to promote Scientology. Let's pray for our lawmakers to be wary of these agendas.

Another update as well. My stepmom wrote me to say that the IL house is now being taken off the market for 6 months. Someone wants to buy it. They can't buy it right now, but they do want to rent it out for the time prior to buying it. It will cover most of the mortgage. This is not a direct financial impact for us, but a huge load off of our minds especially for them as they've bent over backwards to help us and support us in this situation. And, it's a reminder that God is working and moving even as we send out prayer request emails! Thanks God!

Well, today has been an interesting day! I had prayed for a position in Sumner County, but it doesn't appear that is going to happen for many various reasons. I was going to sub there until I found a position, but Jason worked it out that subbing minus childcare and taxes would be a net of about $300-400 - not worth working everyday.

I had sent my resume to a friend of mine in Metro - actually she was one of my kindergarten teachers, she worked with my mom, and Jason taught with her. She was actually very encouraging to him when we were being called into the ministry. She just randomly asked Jason one day if he had ever thought about going into ministry. We had talked about it, but just hadn't shared that. Her confirming what we were praying about was clearly God speaking to us in one of his many, many ways. This was in the midst of studying Experiencing God also for those of you familiar with that study. If you haven't taken it, it is I'd say one of the top, if not the top, studies I would recommend. It is life-changing.

Anyway, so yesterday at 11:00ish we decided to pursue this. Several people helped me to try and get positions in Sumner to no avail which wasn't a huge surprise. But, I happened to email our friend on the day they were meeting to look at what schools needed reshifting. By this morning I had gotten one email and two phone calls requesting an interview. I looked up some information on each, talked to some friends, and went to one of the interviews. By 5:00 this afternoon, I have the job if I want it!!!!!!!!! What a praise!!!!!!!!!! The only struggle is that it is a 30 minute drive. But, everything else seems to fit perfectly.

I haven't accepted yet, but I will let you know more details when I get confirmation. Jason and I have prayed and talked about it tonight, and we feel it's the best thing to do. I have mixed emotions. I'm sad at the change with the time with my kids, and I'm apprehensive about working out all the childcare details. I know that these are just minor things for God. I'm excited about getting back into teaching minus the sadness about the kids. If I'm going to do ANYTHING, teaching is my passion, third to Christ and my family. So, that will be neat. And I'm terrified. Two years doesn't seem much to be out of the classroom, but it seems like eons right now! The thought of getting a room completely ready in a week or less time - whoo! But, I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me.

So, thanks to all that have prayed. God definitely showed me favor in finding something so quickly and such a good situation. What a blessing. Thank you Lord!

I also heard this song today and thought it was a great fit for my emotions. It's by Casting Crowns:
"Praise You In This Storm"
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen",
and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

What a blessing - I heard it on the way to my interview today! My heart is torn in this situation, but I am praising God! And the ability to praise Him comes from Him! My faith has grown extraordinarily through this situation.

Here's a copy of the email I sent out today to our praying friends - thank God for praying friends! Today has been a really hard emotional day!


Hi prayer warriors -

As most of you know, we have had a lot of trouble selling our house in TX. This has been a huge financial burden, but we've had it on the market all summer hoping it would sell. Through some research I did this week, we found out that due to the market in that neighborhood/area, the listing prices of the houses has dropped considerably. There are four other houses exactly like ours, all priced at least 10,000 cheaper than ours on down to 37,000 cheaper than ours. There are about fifteen houses total of comparable size (or even larger) that are all cheaper than ours. We cannot rent the house out to cover the mortgage either. The rent we could even hope to get someone in at would mean us losing about $500 a month with no guarantees at the end of the leasing period that the housing situation had rebounded. Our debt situation during these past two years has grown considerably worse trying to cover all the bases of two houses. We are to the point that something must be done. We are going to drop the price of our house to try to be competitive. If it sells at this listing price, we will have to come up with at least 9000 at closing. And there are still other houses 20,000 below that prices so we may have to drop it further.

We feel convicted not to turn to short sale or foreclosure or bankruptcy at this time. ("The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously." Ps 37:21 Also Prov 22:7, "The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." and Luke 16:10, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldy wealth, who will trust you with true riches?") This is a hard decision as just giving in would be the best case scenario for just us. Unless we are led to do otherwise, we are going to move forward with trying to sell.

As a side note, my dad is still paying for the IL house. It has still not sold either. They are having to reduce the price on it considerably as well and are facing a loss.

The point of all this is obviously a request for prayer for both of the houses.

However, my biggest request at this time is, due to our situation, we feel that we have no other choice than for me to go back to work. Unfortunately, I held out too long and didn't apply to school systems earlier this summer - we kept praying the situation would improve. At very least, I am going to try to substitute every day. I am looking at Metro and Sumner county right now for options. The ideal situation would be for me to find a teaching job. This would give me the most income for the time spent away from the kids. Obviously it is into the school year, but we are praying with classes reshuffling, numbers, etc. that there will be a need to hire some more teachers at this time. I would prefer to teach in Sumner County to be closer, but I am looking at Metro as well. Please pray that God will grant me favor in finding a position. I know some people in Metro Schools, but I don't know anyone of infl uence in Sumner County schools. So, if someone knows someone who knows someone or if anyone hears of a position open, please let me know. Just pray for God's favor in this area specifically.

I have enrolled the kids in Tuesday Thursday MDO at Long Hollow, and today I enrolled them in Monday Wednesday classes for MDO at Bluegrass Baptist. This would give us more flexibility than a daycare with Jason being off on Friday and summers off for me. Also childcare will only be about $450 as opposed to $800 or so in a traditional daycare and in a Christian atmosphere. The challenge to this plan is the hours of MDO are 9 or 9:30 until 2 or 2:30. Pray that Jason and I can work our schedules out as far as being able to get the kids to and from school. Pray mostly for my heart as I am giving up being a full-time mom. This is truly my passion, but I pray that God will allow us to get this situation under control within a short time so that I can go back to my role as MOM! I know ultimately that my children are His children first and foremost. I know He has their welfare and best interest at even a highe r priority than I, and wiht so much greater wisdom. Pray for the kids' adjustment in this area as well. I don't know how they'll do with being away four days a week in addition to our regular Sunday schedules. I especially worry about Everett. Maybe I worry more about my attachment to him being so young... :) Kids are often more resilient than we give them credit for. Also pray that I am able to reshift all the commitments in my life to make room and time for both our family and work and my commitments at church.

I know many of you have heard about the house situation until you are sick of it. I'm sorry to go on about it again. I just so cherish anyone's prayers I can get right now. I do pray that in a great way, God will be able to be glorified in this. I read a section in a book Wendy Taylor gave several of us entitled Come Away My Beloved by Frances J Roberts. It has been such a blessing. The section is based on James 1:5 and goes as follows:

My child, do not expect the trials to be lighter than in the past. Why should you think the tests would be less severe? I test all things, and there are ares of your life that as yet I have not touched. Do not look for respite. The days ahead may call for greater endurance and more robust faith than you ever needed before. Welcome this, for you must surely know how precious are the lessons learned through such experiences. Even if you are unable to fully anticipate them with joy, you can certainly gain an appropriate appreciation of them in retrospect.
Apply your heart to learn wisdom. This goal transcends every other aim, and any other good that comes out of a pressure period is an added blessing in excess.
Seek Me above all else.

Our journey with God through our calling has been one of struggles, sometimes uncertainty at what He is doing or seems not to be doing, but praise God that He always gives JOY! Psalm 84:10 says, "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." No matter what trials we face in the courts of God, one day is better than thousands and thousands elsewhere! (Now pray that I can keep this attitude all the time!!) :)

Thanks again for your prayers in advance. Sorry for the long email. I love all of you.

Sarah Underhill

Cute house huh? It's ours! Unfortunately, it's in Texas! We've moved from TX over two years ago now. This great house is unfortunately the death of us right now. Not literally speaking of course, but it is making life tough.

More on this later...

Honestly, the hardest part for me has not been the financial aspect, although it's been incredibly tough. The hardest part is sorting through unanswered prayers. Now, as the great theologian Garth Brooks wrote (ha ha), one of God's greatest gifts is unanswered prayers. I don't agree with all the song lyrics, but it is great that God doesn't just give us what we want when we want it. He is the perfect parent and doesn't say no 50 times and then give in to a whiney 3 year old (or 30 year old). As a parent knows that it would not be best to give his or her child sugar before bedtime, let him play with knives, or walk in the parking lot "by myself" as they so often request, God knows even better what we do and don't need. So, many times the best thing for us He can do is say no.

I do believe with all my heart that God's timing is best. I do pray that He will be made known through this situation. But, as a whiney almost 30 year old who's just tired of struggling through this, I just want it to sell and be done with it so we can move on with our lives. We call God "Father", and there are many verses that talk about our "sonship" and how we are "adopted" if we have accepted Christ. Using the Father analogy, I feel like I'm in a family where there are a whole bunch of kids asking for things. Some kids ask for huge, amazing things and get them, others ask for simple things and don't get them, but their prayer gets answered in some other way. I, on my stressed out days, feel like I'm the only kid behind all the other kids going, "Hey, Dad, don't want anything amazing, just for a house to sell. Don't want to be a millionnaire, just want to get out of debt. Hey! God! Over here!" And not only is He not granting our request, but the situation gets worse and worse! Just when I think it can't get worse, it gets 10 times worse!

So, the point of this blog is not that I'm whining (I promise), but it's my version of the answer to the question, "Why keep praying for something when God doesn't seem to be answering? What makes me keep the faith here?" Obviously because the Bible tells us so. I can give myself all the right answers. I'm great at counseling and encouraging people through problems I think. I know it backwards and forwards in my head. But, how do you get it into your heart?

I've just studied and studied, and I'm still in the process of doing so. I'm currently going through the study Disciple's Prayer Life which is great. God is really using it to speak to me. God has given me so much scripture! I am going to share more of that tomorrow.

But, one of the greatest encouragements is other people. Just in the past few days, we have had probably five or six different, random people come up and ask about the house situation and remind us they are praying for us. That's so amazing! Up until this point we haven't said anything and haven't sent out prayer requests. What an encouragement that people keep our situation on their hearts. That's volumes of God's grace. That's a reminder that He's there.

Other reminders come in still quiet voices - one day I was doing my quiet time just frustrated about everything and pouring my heart out to God. I was journaling like madness, and I had muted the TV which is unusual since I turn it off. It was Sportscenter or something - no temptation for me to watch. But, I happened to glance up at one point while I was thinking/praying, and stuck on the screen was the closed captioning. There was only one phrase, and it said "He loves you." Again, it was sportscenter - doubtful that phrase would be used. Then it was commercial after commercial after commercial. And it stayed stuck up there. Sportscenter came back on, and it still stayed for a few minutes. I believe with all my heart that was a physical reminder from God.

When we were praying about moving back to TN, it was a really tough decision. We came to the decision time, and we just prayed that God would show us clearly. As Jason and I prayed in the middle of the night, we were able to come up with literally 20+ ways that God had been pointing us towards TN. Looking back, the signs were so clear. It gave us such peace to make our decision not understanding everything but being able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was calling us clearly.

And, my biggest reminder of all is to reflect back upon my salvation. I was saved at the age of 6, but it took me years to figure out what a commitment to Christ was. At times, the only evidence of Christ in my life was the inner conviction I felt and shoved down as much as possible. That and the divine protection He gave me. But, when I truly surrendered actual control of my life to Christ at 19, my life turned completely around. That turning point could only be attributed to Christ's power - let me tell you!

It's such a sweet blessing to smell the fragrance of God's loving arms around you. There is nothing better in this world. If you are reading this and trying to get through life without Christ, I encourage you to give it up! And, if you are a Christian struggling through a tough situation, God is there.

One verse commonly misunderstood (in my humble opinion) is Rom 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." People often take this verse as a name it and claim it verse. All things turn out good. What we often forget in praying is that what may be "good" for us is not necessarily what we are praying for. Often what is best for us is a lesson learned in humility or about God's faithfulness or serving as a witness for someone else.

God has a kingdom perspective, and His goal is to make us more like Christ. Not to make us prosper, not to make us happy, and not to live long lives. God's purpose for us is to glorify him!!! We can best glorify him by being more Christ-like. And, it takes a lot of molding and pushing and forming to accomplish that. Thus, painful times... :)

I've rambled again, but I'm allowed to, it's my blog! :) I just get so excited about anticipating what God is going to do and especially when I sense his presence!

Pray for our house and wisdom!

If you are up late at night, unable to sleep, what do you do to fill your time???

For me, as I am tonight, I am playing around on the internet. Getting to chill and search randomly as I don't get to do this during the day! :)

Originality - seems hard to come by lately, huh? If only we all had the courage to go through our day as a three-year old (minus the sassiness and whinies because then the world might self-destruct). How valuable the knowledge that we are beautiful, the courage to wear what we want to wear when we want to wear it, the freedom to sing out loud or dance or say what's on our mind, the innocence with no standards to live up to.

Okay, let me back up....

This is one of those moments, for those of you at LHBC, as Bro David said yesterday was a "No way" moment for me. Now, this is nowhere NEAR the same subject of racism - this is an everyday no way. I just thought I'd share in my incredulity!

Featured today on Talk of the Town - I know some of you are watchers - was a story about eyelash extensions - not the kind that comes in a set, but you can now apparently go to a salon and get individual synthetic eyelashes put on. Yep, one eyelash at a time glued onto an existing eyelash. The "problem" that encouraged the show's model to come in was that she was already coming in every TWO WEEKS to have her eyelashes PERMED and TINTED, but her eyelashes still just didn't look quite right. So, OBVIOUSLY she "HAD" to get the eyelash extensions. The model had her eyes taped down, and the lady doing the process said it is usually a two hour process depending on how many lashes you want. I missed if they said something about the price, and I looked up online and found a whole blog on this type of stuff. Here's what one woman said:

"Once women get over the amazement of my eyelash extensions, I am bombarded with questions about the process. Is it painful? No, not at all. You are required to sit still with your eyes closed for at least two hours--a nice little zen meditation except you awake with long, beautiful lashes. Is it expensive? Yes. We paid $250 for ours. Some practitioners charge as little as $75 but we wanted an absolute perfectionist so we paid more. How long does it last? Extensions begin falling out at the end of the second week, which is why you need to ... go back for touch ups every 2-3 weeks if you want your extensions to last. Are eyelash extensions for everyone? Not really, especially if you're a low maintenance, sporty gal. The lashes require a lot of attention. You don't want to sleep on them wrong and you can't get them wet the first two days. No mascara is allowed as well as any oil based makeup remover. But the good news is the lashes are so full and long that you will look fabulous without makeup."

Prices seemed to range from about $100 to $350 or so. And refills every two weeks are around $50 to even $150 or so!!! Here's another consumer:

"Help! I got eyelash extensions done 3 days ago and they are already falling out! I paid $350 thinking i was getting the best. I don't understand. My eyelashes were really short to begin with (that's why i got extensions) so i began to think thats why they are falling out...but then iread how people had no lashes at all and they work perfectly! I really need them refilled (and actually look good) by sept. 8th. Another thing is why do they hang so low in front of my eyes (they're always poking me!) And i can't curl them cause they'll break and i cant wear mascara cause they'll break. ANYONE just pleaseee help me out!"

There were all of these posts from women all over the country looking for salons that would do this process for them. There was even a post from someone in South Africa saying they were investigating the process. Apparently it started with - of all people - Paris Hilton. Enough said as far as I'm concerned.

Now I for one am not into big beauty procedures of any sort. For one, I'd much rather spend my money on other things, and I believe God would have me do the same. Two, I truly believe that one of the best ways I can glorify God, his creativity, and his power is to try and keep my body in the best, natural shape possible.

For those of you that know me, I've got some work to do on the "best shape" part. I'm finished nursing Everett now, so I'm planning on really concentrating on my own health this fall and hopefully getting into better shape - more on that later, I'm sure. But, I really think people's unique features, often features that people seek to hide, are what makes us interesting.

I can see the arguments of highlights, hair coloring, makeup, etc being used to enhance what you already have. I wear lip gloss and mascara to go out, and I'll wear blush in the winter when I look washed out. I know other people wear more because of various skin issues. I am all for undergarments that hold things in place. I'm even trying some "special" face wash and moisturizer right now from a main cosmetics company. It cost more than my oil of olay and regular soap, but the lady had asked and asked and they were having a sale - I finally gave in. It broke me out, but she said that happens the first couple of weeks because it's pulling all the bad stuff up from under your skin. Sounds crazy to me, but whatever.

It does really bother me though when "skin care salespeople" push erratically overpriced products under the guise of being "for your skin" when they are in pursuit of a car, a vacation, or whatever the promotion of their company of the month is. Now, I have friends that sell products from various major companies (BeautiControl, MaryKay, Arbonne, Avon, etc) and most are pretty respectful once I've said no. I don't have a problem with people having something to work for. I do dislike when the salepeople (or whatever their PC word is) have the wrong motives. My issue is with women preying on other women's insecurities of their skin not looking just right or not being healthy enough or AGH!!! using regular soap on your face (apparently a huge sin in the life of cosmetics). I understand people having problems and needing something to help. But, I find that in many cases, the people selling the products cannot look at my skin and tell me what's best or how to enhance this or that. Most of them have signed on because they want income they can get at home, and it promises new cars and exotic vacations. Which is fine, IF you have the passion to help people as your priority. I don't find that to be the case most of the time. Aside from that, I don't think anyone needs to spend $40 on a blush set or a "toner" to look beautiful. I truly appreciate natural beauty in people and hate to see it covered up with so much gunk! I just disagree! But, I am willing to agree to disagree on issues like these - to each her own.

But, paying $300 to put on eyelashes??? A) Who really notices your eyelashes that closely? Maybe not being a "makeup" kind of girl, I just don't get it. But, $300 on eyelashes??? And to have to go back and spend two hours every two weeks with your eyes taped down and pay $100 or so to refill them?? Every two weeks? NO WAY! but more importantly B) How does someone get to the point of feeling so badly about their own appearance that they've nitpicked down to their eyelashes aren't long enough? And, that it's somehow worth $300 plus around $150 a month to fix those horrible eyelashes. My goodness, I can only guess at the other procedures they have done.

Last but not least, and this has been said over and over, and I'll say it again - what in the WORLD are we teaching our young, impressionable teenage girls in this society?? I taught seventh grade girls last year and have tenth grade girls this year in connect groups. I've worked with youth at church since I was married, and I taught school for five years. My heart hurts to see the lengths some of them go to in order to look the part. They are so beautiful simply because of their youth, yet many of them can't see past what's not pasted onto their face.

All this to say that I really just encourage anyone reading to be yourself. Whether it be in how you fix your hair, what you wear on your face, your clothes, or the way you talk, walk, or laugh - be yourself! I know it's an easier message to preach than follow, but I think it is so much more freeing to just let go of all of those expectations and society's pre-determined standards. I think if there is anything I want to teach both my son and daughter, it's to be comfortable in their own skin. How to do that I'm not quite sure - I've got some time to figure it out, but I want to surround them with people who are confident with their own looks and personality as well.

I'll leave you with this: 1 Timothy 2:9-10 "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for a woman who PROFESS to worship God." Now, I have braids in my hair right now (and was thrilled to notice today that it is finally long enough to braid again). The point is not that it's unbiblical to want to look nice. The point is that we as women, as Christian women that is, should be more conscious of putting on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control than we should of anything else. Don't try to gain respect, favor, or even self-esteem by your outside appearance. If you appear beautiful on the outside, please be beautiful on the inside as well. The best way to do that is spending time with Christ daily. Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

I'm not speaking from a perspective that I have this all down, and I have plenty of work to do myself. Just an encouragement to us all, and a laugh at $350+ eyelashes. I'm sure others of you have different perspectives to share as well! Bring 'em!

Going to assess my measly eyelashes,

Sarah :)

Zeke, our newest addition, is here! Check out some photos - read the captions for explanation of the pictures... Come by and say hi if you want! Zeke (click there!)