Cute house huh? It's ours! Unfortunately, it's in Texas! We've moved from TX over two years ago now. This great house is unfortunately the death of us right now. Not literally speaking of course, but it is making life tough.

More on this later...

Honestly, the hardest part for me has not been the financial aspect, although it's been incredibly tough. The hardest part is sorting through unanswered prayers. Now, as the great theologian Garth Brooks wrote (ha ha), one of God's greatest gifts is unanswered prayers. I don't agree with all the song lyrics, but it is great that God doesn't just give us what we want when we want it. He is the perfect parent and doesn't say no 50 times and then give in to a whiney 3 year old (or 30 year old). As a parent knows that it would not be best to give his or her child sugar before bedtime, let him play with knives, or walk in the parking lot "by myself" as they so often request, God knows even better what we do and don't need. So, many times the best thing for us He can do is say no.

I do believe with all my heart that God's timing is best. I do pray that He will be made known through this situation. But, as a whiney almost 30 year old who's just tired of struggling through this, I just want it to sell and be done with it so we can move on with our lives. We call God "Father", and there are many verses that talk about our "sonship" and how we are "adopted" if we have accepted Christ. Using the Father analogy, I feel like I'm in a family where there are a whole bunch of kids asking for things. Some kids ask for huge, amazing things and get them, others ask for simple things and don't get them, but their prayer gets answered in some other way. I, on my stressed out days, feel like I'm the only kid behind all the other kids going, "Hey, Dad, don't want anything amazing, just for a house to sell. Don't want to be a millionnaire, just want to get out of debt. Hey! God! Over here!" And not only is He not granting our request, but the situation gets worse and worse! Just when I think it can't get worse, it gets 10 times worse!

So, the point of this blog is not that I'm whining (I promise), but it's my version of the answer to the question, "Why keep praying for something when God doesn't seem to be answering? What makes me keep the faith here?" Obviously because the Bible tells us so. I can give myself all the right answers. I'm great at counseling and encouraging people through problems I think. I know it backwards and forwards in my head. But, how do you get it into your heart?

I've just studied and studied, and I'm still in the process of doing so. I'm currently going through the study Disciple's Prayer Life which is great. God is really using it to speak to me. God has given me so much scripture! I am going to share more of that tomorrow.

But, one of the greatest encouragements is other people. Just in the past few days, we have had probably five or six different, random people come up and ask about the house situation and remind us they are praying for us. That's so amazing! Up until this point we haven't said anything and haven't sent out prayer requests. What an encouragement that people keep our situation on their hearts. That's volumes of God's grace. That's a reminder that He's there.

Other reminders come in still quiet voices - one day I was doing my quiet time just frustrated about everything and pouring my heart out to God. I was journaling like madness, and I had muted the TV which is unusual since I turn it off. It was Sportscenter or something - no temptation for me to watch. But, I happened to glance up at one point while I was thinking/praying, and stuck on the screen was the closed captioning. There was only one phrase, and it said "He loves you." Again, it was sportscenter - doubtful that phrase would be used. Then it was commercial after commercial after commercial. And it stayed stuck up there. Sportscenter came back on, and it still stayed for a few minutes. I believe with all my heart that was a physical reminder from God.

When we were praying about moving back to TN, it was a really tough decision. We came to the decision time, and we just prayed that God would show us clearly. As Jason and I prayed in the middle of the night, we were able to come up with literally 20+ ways that God had been pointing us towards TN. Looking back, the signs were so clear. It gave us such peace to make our decision not understanding everything but being able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was calling us clearly.

And, my biggest reminder of all is to reflect back upon my salvation. I was saved at the age of 6, but it took me years to figure out what a commitment to Christ was. At times, the only evidence of Christ in my life was the inner conviction I felt and shoved down as much as possible. That and the divine protection He gave me. But, when I truly surrendered actual control of my life to Christ at 19, my life turned completely around. That turning point could only be attributed to Christ's power - let me tell you!

It's such a sweet blessing to smell the fragrance of God's loving arms around you. There is nothing better in this world. If you are reading this and trying to get through life without Christ, I encourage you to give it up! And, if you are a Christian struggling through a tough situation, God is there.

One verse commonly misunderstood (in my humble opinion) is Rom 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." People often take this verse as a name it and claim it verse. All things turn out good. What we often forget in praying is that what may be "good" for us is not necessarily what we are praying for. Often what is best for us is a lesson learned in humility or about God's faithfulness or serving as a witness for someone else.

God has a kingdom perspective, and His goal is to make us more like Christ. Not to make us prosper, not to make us happy, and not to live long lives. God's purpose for us is to glorify him!!! We can best glorify him by being more Christ-like. And, it takes a lot of molding and pushing and forming to accomplish that. Thus, painful times... :)

I've rambled again, but I'm allowed to, it's my blog! :) I just get so excited about anticipating what God is going to do and especially when I sense his presence!

Pray for our house and wisdom!