Tuesday, January 30, 2007

What a weekend!!! Here are the top five highlights:

5) Driving home on Friday, my car was vibrating - a lot! I knew it needed to be aligned, but I was like getting a massage! I just prayed to make it home, and I did. Jason and I looked at the tires, and at first glance, everything was fine. THEN I looked closer to see that my back two tires were SHREDDING - literally the leather was coming off - a blowout waiting to happen... maybe that's why my car felt like it was driving on ice while going 40 MPH on the entrance ramp to 65 - huh. Well, the guy at the car place said I was VERY lucky to not have a serious, serious accident - I know that was a God moment. AND, we got to fork over $ for a whole new set of tires! FABULOUS! :)

4) My dad got put in the hospital for a MAJOR staph infection... it puffed up the whole side of his face - he looked pitiful. He did go home Tuesday night though and is doing better... still has some healing to do.

3) We had a cancer scare in our family - turned out negative, praise God! I was praying and praying about it and just felt a peace that it was going to be fine - and it was!

2) Everett developed a 103 temperature on Saturday and kept it through Tuesday... viral infection, he was just miserable for 30 minute stretches at a time and would then be fine. He's all better now!

1) An AWESOME women's retreat at church! The theme was transformation, and the biggest blessing I was able to recognize was that as I look over this past year, I do feel God has "lifted my veil". I feel that I have truly been in a sort of depressed fog over this past year with all of the house stress, etc. Going back to work was definitely not my idea, but in the past month or two, God has just given me a peace about everything. I feel like I have been able to let go of my disappointments, expectations, and frustrations and just come out of that fog of yuck! (Great theological term there, huh?) I'm not saying I was clinically depressed, just maybe spiritually depressed. It has been such a blessing to come out of that and feel like myself again. For anyone that knows me well, you'll see a difference in me; for those that have known me for a long time, you'll see the old me. I just feel back to "me" again, and it's so great! Not that problems will not come again (see #'s 5-2 above), and I can even feel some of Satan's attacks with other things this week, but I just have been given a sense of spiritual revival. Chris Adams said in our breakout session this past weekend, "Valleys are where you learn how to live life, and mountains are where you enjoy living the lessons you've learned." Okay, shouldn't have put that in quotes because I know that's not exactly how she said it, but you get the jist!! :) I feel like I am getting to enjoy some of the lessons I've learned! It's a nice place to be for now... Check out www.longhollowwomen.com for more retreat info and all kinds of inspirational and encouraging nuggets!

Hope you enjoyed my top five list - any to share of your own???

Thursday, January 25, 2007

I had to pull into McDonalds this morning to pick up some breakfast as we are in need of a grocery store run at our house. The line was a little long, but I was starving and knew I needed some energy for the day. I pulled up to the window and heard the most cheerful, kind voice say, "Good morning! What can I get for you today?" Not the mumbly jumbly-I've said this 500 times already today-I'm ready to go home-hurry up-what do you want kind of voice that usually comes over those speakers, but a genuine, cheerful, sweet voice that said "Good morning!" - gasp! - like she really meant it! The kind of good morning you would like to have someone wake you up with each day. I was really surprised! I ordered, and she asked, "Is there anything else I can get for you?" in the same sweet tone. I pulled through, paid, and picked up my order. As I was leaving, the food passer outer lady said, "Have a great day and come again!" I thought, "I sure will come again!"

You may be reading this thinking, well, that's what all drive through people do. No, I can't show you over a blog while typing, but the tones of their voices were truly KIND, GENUINE, and even LOVING! Honestly, it was the first time I had experienced genuine-ness in a fast food restaurant. It really stood out! It made me think of a phrase from a song, "Your kindness Lord... leads me to repentance..." We heard this phrase at Bible study the other night, and I looked up the verse that goes along with it.

Romans 2:4 says, "Do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?" The chapter is about judging people - a good one to read. Our Bible study with Andy Stanley was on guilt. Jesus doesn't use guilt to get us to obey, although He could. He uses KINDNESS! His KINDNESS leads us to repentance, obedience, and a broken heart for him!

I found a couple of other verses this morning on kindness.

2 Chronicles 32:25 tells of Hezekiah's response to God's kindness in healing him, "Hezekiah's heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the LORD's wrath was on him and on Judah and Jerusalem." Thankfully, Hezekiah repented and they were spared the Lord's wrath.

Jeremiah 31:3 says, "The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: 'I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness...' " That word "drawn" in Hebrew is "mashak" pronounced "maw-shak", and it means to draw, drag, seize, cheer, attract, or gratify. I'm normally not one of the big Hebrew translators, but I liked this one. The Lord draws us - he seizes, cheers, attracts, and gratifies us with LOVING KINDNESS!!! Isn't that exciting!!??!!

On 89.1 FM (love them... I'm going to add them to my links whenever I get around to reorganizing my blog) this morning (after I left McDonalds), I heard this verse - Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.." Our tongues quite literally have the power to lead someone towards or away from eternal life with Christ! The power is of course God's, but how many people have you seen that have turned away from the church because of something that someone said?

Just as God draws us in with kindness, the only way that Christians are going to reach the lost world around us is with kindness. Strong historical arguments, great theology, personal testimonies - they are all good ways to bring someone to Christ. But the best way to draw, attract, or even drag someone to Christ is through good ole' kindness! Acts of service, sweet words, an encouraging spirit, and just a light up your world smile will draw people to our Savior!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

TX house update:

The contract I wrote about back in December fell through. We received word last week that there were two new contracts on the house. We accepted the better of the two and were anticipating a closing this month or the beginning of next.

The realtor requested that we have our utilities turned back on so that the inspection could take place. Jason called to have the water turned on, no problems. However, when he called to have the electric turned on, they said they could not turn it on until we had paid our bill. Of course Jason answered, "What bill? We haven't lived there in two years!" They replied that we have a $642 electric bill due on the house and that the electric was shut off for non-payment.

To make a long story short, we had turned on the electric after our renters moved out in order to repair all of the damage that had been done. We called in May to have everything shut off to avoid high cooling bills during the Texas summer. Apparently it did not get cut off; they have no record of our disconnect request. They cut it off after two months for "no pay". They sent bills to an old address that we of course never received.

The electric company knocked the bill down to $450, but we are faced with paying it or the house not selling because they can't do the inspection. We are trying to work with our realtor to see if there are alternatives, but her son passed away yesterday after a long fight with a disease. Not a good time to work something like this out.

This is just the millionth challenge in this whole thing. It's so discouraging. There hasn't been one thing easy or even the slightest break with this TX house. God is really building our character I guess. Please pray for this to work out and for us to have wisdom.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I attended a Bible study last week in which we are watching a series by Andy Stanley called, "It Came From Within". It's all about guarding your heart. At first that didn't mean much to me, but as we watched the opening sermon for the series, I was blown away by the way God pricked my heart. I believe this is something many Christians deal with.

Andy opened by explaining that as children we are taught to use a "filter" to determine our actions and words. We have a filter we use at a formal dinner and a different one for hanging out with friends. We have a filter we use to say the right things (and avoid saying other things) to get a job, to keep a relationship healthy, or to deal with people who get on our nerves. When we say or do something inappropriate, we are shocked and say something to the effect of, "That is so unlike me!" Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Jesus says that when we say, "That is so unlike me!" that it actually isn't - it's a reflection of our heart!

Andy continued by saying that we need to not look at what comes out and slips through the filter. If we blow up in anger at someone, we don't need to just say, "Oh, I can't get angry like that anymore. I've got to control my temper!" We must look at our heart and find out WHY we got angry. Examining our heart and asking some tough questions will help us see the root of the problem. Then we work on the root of our heart and the output will be fixed as well. He asks his children a series of questions every night and closed by having us close our eyes and thinking about these questions as well: Did someone make you mad today? Did someone disappoint you today? Did someone break a promise to you? Have you lied to someone today? Have you secretly rejoiced in someone's failings? Have you had extended imaginary conversations with someone recently? All questions that can reflect heart problems.

There were a few other questions, and all of them prodded my heart. That last one really got me. So many times I will be angry at or hurt by someone and try to "be nice" on the outside. My goal will be to try not to let that anger or hurt seep through the filter. That is quite honestly exhausting after a while. I'm not very good at this actually; I wear my feelings on my sleeve and am not good at ALL with "faking it". I will have imaginary conversations with people where I get to tell them what I think and why I was hurt, try to imagine what they would say, and then decide how I would reply. That is a sign that there is an issue that needs to be dealt with! The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4: 25-27, "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. " Wow, put off falsehood (quit just pretending I'm not upset or hurt by trying to work my filter more) and speak truthfully - don't let the sun go down on your anger! That really spoke to me. There were a few situations that I was hurt by that I had to go to those people (with hopefully a Christ-like attitude), bring up those things, and work through them. It was hard! But, what a peace that transcended afterwards! And, it's not like everything is perfect now, but I examined my heart to determine the source of the hurt feelings. That makes me be honest with myself; I discovered some things I can work on, and now the relationships can heal! The loss of my own hurt and bitterness is the blessing.

It's been really interesting this week to apply these principles to every aspect of my life and to see how God has blessed those times that I have examined my heart. That icky feeling you get in your heart when things just aren't going right - it's great to get rid of it! It's very freeing to not let those little things build up!

Most people have experienced a "Christ-follower" who hasn't checked or guarded their heart in a very long time. Often, these people are very hurt and very angry about many things - some of them going way back! I can think of a few times where I have witnessed the output of one of these hurting people; it was very scary and not Christ-like at all. It's one thing to have an "icky" feeling for a few days; it's a whole different one to have years of ickiness built up. In situations like this, honestly, Satan has been given a foothold. Satan is working people's lives that are bitter, angry, and deeply hurt in such a powerful way that he can use that hurt to poison many things, people, families, workplaces, churches, and entire communities around them. The potential for wide-spread damage is so great, and Satan LOVES it! That, my friends is spiritual warfare. When faced with it, it is honestly downright TERRIFYING! The times I have experienced a life in such turmoil, it has turned my stomach. Lift up people you know struggling in this area, and be alert to clean your own heart regularly.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Resolutions... I have several things that are really more lifetime goals:
Make the kids bedtime routine more consistent
Be more consistent with whole family devotional times
Continue our couple's prayer time Jason started (which has started many late night conversations - great
until the alarm clock goes off, and I only got four hours of sleep.. ha ha!)
Continue paying off all the debt from our TX house trauma

My only real resolution that might be short term is that I'm also cutting out carbonated beverages. It's really not been that hard. I still do coffee and lightly sweetened tea, but I had gotten out of control.

These things were pretty easy to come up with, but I was really praying about what area God wanted me to improve in personally. God has been very clear this year; more clear than any other previous year that I can remember. He gave me a verse that I've just meditated on for the past week or two.
Isaiah 43:18-19,21 says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland... the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise."


God does new things every morning. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. " Because of God's LOVE for us, he has compassion for us and we are not consumed by our sin. Grace!! His compassion is new every morning - every morning is a chance to start afresh.

However, I really felt God telling me to forget EVERYTHING that has always been. I am doing something new in your life. You think your life is great, but when I look at it, I see a desert, a wasteland because I know what it COULD be. I want to make a new way and refreshing streams for you! I want your life to praise me even more!

When I started working in August, everything changed - my family time, my time to spend on my house chores, friendships and "girl time" has changed drastically, the format of my quiet times, my ability to serve more widely, EVERTYHING has changed. I have been trying to hold onto everything. God is beating down my heart telling me that my plan may not necessarily be His. I may have some big changes ahead of me; or, God may just be wanting me to surrender all of my plans and ideas.

Over and over, God has said to me that my resolution this year should be to do nothing... NOTHING... NOTHING... without Him. God always wants us to bring our decisions before Him, but I feel God is really pressing this upon me now with an even greater emphasis. I feel He wants me to really not make one move for ANYTHING based on what I've known before and without praying about it first.

There have been a lot of shut doors in my life in the past year or so. For example, moving to a new church has closed some ministry opportunities that have always been passions of mine. Other people are in those roles, and I'm the new kid on the block. It's really hard to give up something I love to do so much - something I love to do for the Lord and things I know I can do well! God is telling me to let go - He is doing a new thing!

I have a lot of friendships that have changed drastically over the past few months. Ones that I've tried to hang onto, but it just hasn't worked the way it did before. Shut doors! God has just been telling me to let go - He is doing a new thing!

And, MY choices for this upcoming year work-wise have either been teaching or at home - my preference is to be at home. That's my passion, that's my heart. Working this year shut that door for now! But God is telling me to let go - He is doing a new thing!

This is scary thing for me; it's hard to let go of some of my "sacred cows". In some ways, I feel like a 100 year old lady at a 300 year old church trying to hang on to the old hymnals. They are good, but God may have something better! Answering honestly, I think that God is not necessarily trying to shake up my entire life, but perhaps trying to shake up my priorities. It's very easy to get caught up in "good" things - good ministry options, good friends, good family habits, good careers. They are good things. But, at the loss of them or with a change in our lives, we have to remember the BEST thing - Christ! If we mourn too greatly those good things and our perspective and focus on Christ gets lost, He wants to bring us back. Oh, what an awesome God we serve!

It's also very exciting to see how God is changing my heart. I feel like I am a mature Christian - I'm going on 24 years of being a Christian! But, it seems the more I learn, the more I have to go. What an fascinating walk with Christ that we have the opportunity to take! We will never max out on what we can learn and how we can improve! His compassion is new EVERY morning... He wants to love us, grow us, and improve us DAILY!

I'm excited to see what is ahead!


Thursday, January 04, 2007

SKY DIVING PHOTOS!!! FINALLY!!! This was my 30th birthday goal for about the last five years at least....



Above - I'm suiting up - I really wasn't nervous at all!! I did get a little nervous when he gave me my crash course lesson on sky diving in about three minutes. It was this complicated kneeling, backing out, leaning thing that I couldn't do on land much less in an airplane with him attached to my back. I was a little worried at first and then just decided that people do this everyday, it's not that complicated, and he's the one that's responsible for remembering all this - not me. It was great. I really trusted him as he seemed he knew what he was doing. He used to be a criminal... and was definitely not saved. I prayed for him. He took his first sky dive at the age of thirty (like me) and just kept jumping and got his certification. He has done a lot of instructing in warm tropical places during the winter. He just travels around to these great tropical beach areas. That is SUCH a job I could do. I bet it would be a great mission field - thing the NAMB would sponsor me??

The pictures are out of order, and I don't have time to mess with them, but to the left is when we are taking off. It was a much smaller plane than I expected, but it was fun! When we got pretty far up into the air, I looked way way way down and asked if we were about to jump. Chris said, Nope, we're not even halfway there! That freaked me out a tad because already the cars looked like little dots. But, when we got up twice as far, it didn't seem that much higher. It was so awesome!! He also did a couple of barrel rolls in the plane since it was a small one. You just sit on the floor and feel the force. I was so excited!!!


Above is our landing, which was as smooth as butter. VERY smooth! He picked the spot we were going to land, and we did! On the left is us coming in closer. All I kept seeing as we were coming in were these cows right below us. I just kept processing that over and over. FUNNY!

This is us walking out to the plane. SO, out of order pictures and hard to see, but you get the drift. We have a video of it all which is great. This was an awesome awesome experience, and I would HONESTLY go once a day. I love it. If we lived near a strip and it wasn't expensive, I would get certified! I encourage anyone who hasn't tried it to go for it!!! Now, what to do for 40... or even 35! I would love a long kayak, rapelling adventure or something with hikes in between. Like the Adventure Junkies website. Gotta get in shape first though!

Monday, January 01, 2007

OK, so we came home from New Year's Day festivities tired, and I'm gearing up for a tenth grade girls sleepover tonight. I was resting in bed watching mindless television just to chill for a bit. I found a ridiculous show called "Beauty and the Geek" - perfect mindless television. It's a reality show where geeky super intelligent guys (MIT, robotics, etc) are paired up with beautiful, not as smart girls (2 cocktail waitresses, a camp counselor, tanning bed attendant, etc.). The girls are to get smarter in theory I think, and are tested on things like being able to set up a computer from box to working order. Guys are tested on fashion definitions like monochromatic and popular designers. Today's particular challenge was the girls got to do a makeover, and the guys had to get rated in speed dating to see who had improved the most. Well, one guy, forgetting that his "beauty" partner was listening and watching on camera told his speed date that he was glad to get enjoy some intelligent conversation with her (the speed date) because he hadn't gotten any lately (hence, his Beauty was dumb). So, the beauty and geek are talking later, and she's demanding an apology. He says something to the point of that he wouldn't be offended to be called socially awkward, and she shouldn't be offended to be called unintelligent; he said that's why they were paired up together. WELL, Beauty's chin starts quivering and she asserts, "I am NOT unintelligent, and I DO get offended when I'm called that." The geek replies, "Okay, maybe not unintelligent but unacademically inclined." Beauty gets up in a huff and stomps off saying, "I'm not academically uninclined (or something of the sorts mixing up the words).... or whatever it was that you just said..." I BUSTED out laughing... she was insisting she WAS intelligent but couldn't repeat the complicated phrase, unacademically inclined. I wouldn't laugh at her personal lack of intelligence if it weren't for the background of the show. It was SO SO hilarious!