I attended a Bible study last week in which we are watching a series by Andy Stanley called, "It Came From Within". It's all about guarding your heart. At first that didn't mean much to me, but as we watched the opening sermon for the series, I was blown away by the way God pricked my heart. I believe this is something many Christians deal with.

Andy opened by explaining that as children we are taught to use a "filter" to determine our actions and words. We have a filter we use at a formal dinner and a different one for hanging out with friends. We have a filter we use to say the right things (and avoid saying other things) to get a job, to keep a relationship healthy, or to deal with people who get on our nerves. When we say or do something inappropriate, we are shocked and say something to the effect of, "That is so unlike me!" Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Jesus says that when we say, "That is so unlike me!" that it actually isn't - it's a reflection of our heart!

Andy continued by saying that we need to not look at what comes out and slips through the filter. If we blow up in anger at someone, we don't need to just say, "Oh, I can't get angry like that anymore. I've got to control my temper!" We must look at our heart and find out WHY we got angry. Examining our heart and asking some tough questions will help us see the root of the problem. Then we work on the root of our heart and the output will be fixed as well. He asks his children a series of questions every night and closed by having us close our eyes and thinking about these questions as well: Did someone make you mad today? Did someone disappoint you today? Did someone break a promise to you? Have you lied to someone today? Have you secretly rejoiced in someone's failings? Have you had extended imaginary conversations with someone recently? All questions that can reflect heart problems.

There were a few other questions, and all of them prodded my heart. That last one really got me. So many times I will be angry at or hurt by someone and try to "be nice" on the outside. My goal will be to try not to let that anger or hurt seep through the filter. That is quite honestly exhausting after a while. I'm not very good at this actually; I wear my feelings on my sleeve and am not good at ALL with "faking it". I will have imaginary conversations with people where I get to tell them what I think and why I was hurt, try to imagine what they would say, and then decide how I would reply. That is a sign that there is an issue that needs to be dealt with! The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4: 25-27, "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. " Wow, put off falsehood (quit just pretending I'm not upset or hurt by trying to work my filter more) and speak truthfully - don't let the sun go down on your anger! That really spoke to me. There were a few situations that I was hurt by that I had to go to those people (with hopefully a Christ-like attitude), bring up those things, and work through them. It was hard! But, what a peace that transcended afterwards! And, it's not like everything is perfect now, but I examined my heart to determine the source of the hurt feelings. That makes me be honest with myself; I discovered some things I can work on, and now the relationships can heal! The loss of my own hurt and bitterness is the blessing.

It's been really interesting this week to apply these principles to every aspect of my life and to see how God has blessed those times that I have examined my heart. That icky feeling you get in your heart when things just aren't going right - it's great to get rid of it! It's very freeing to not let those little things build up!

Most people have experienced a "Christ-follower" who hasn't checked or guarded their heart in a very long time. Often, these people are very hurt and very angry about many things - some of them going way back! I can think of a few times where I have witnessed the output of one of these hurting people; it was very scary and not Christ-like at all. It's one thing to have an "icky" feeling for a few days; it's a whole different one to have years of ickiness built up. In situations like this, honestly, Satan has been given a foothold. Satan is working people's lives that are bitter, angry, and deeply hurt in such a powerful way that he can use that hurt to poison many things, people, families, workplaces, churches, and entire communities around them. The potential for wide-spread damage is so great, and Satan LOVES it! That, my friends is spiritual warfare. When faced with it, it is honestly downright TERRIFYING! The times I have experienced a life in such turmoil, it has turned my stomach. Lift up people you know struggling in this area, and be alert to clean your own heart regularly.