So, a brief interruption in my series on motherhood. Well, let's say a sidebar as it still relates somewhat.

Something to know about me, I am one of those type-A personalities, although not insanely a strong one - not the stereotypical type-A, but enough of a type-A that stress can pile up and really cause me to flip out a tad. So, the past couple of weeks have been stressful to say the least. I can get pretty Eeyore-ish (you know, the Pooh donkey) when it comes to stress. Eeyore is the ultimate martyr, the one nobody loves, and whose life is all doom and gloom. I can get that way at times. Not the nobody loves me part, but definitely my life is the worst, my life is horrible, everything goes wrong. These Eeyore moments only last an hour or two and usually follow me doing something like balancing the checkbook or having a bad day... ha ha! But, I've been in a slight Eeyore mood these past couple of weeks/months. Some would say rightfully so, and I've enjoyed licking my wounds. Thankfully, God is always working to improve us.

So, I went to church yesterday and Bro. David is doing a sermon series entitled, "Written In Red: What Jesus Says About..." For those of you that aren't LH attenders, this includes sermons on what Jesus says in the Bible about various topics such as heaven, hell, money, relationships, worry, Himself, and more. So, last week was on hell, but I missed it because I was doing drama with children. Yesterday was on heaven. Bro David talked about all the good things about heaven, the fact that ANYONE can go if they want to, but you do have to have reservations. You do have to commit your life to Christ before you go - you can't wait until you're at the pearly gates. I wish I could link you to his two sermons online, but our website doesn't have those up yet. I will get those linked on here as soon as they are available. But, I really liked the "no-mores" part of his sermon. He had been to a funeral where it rained and was just depressing - all funerals are, but this one was just especially depressing. He commented that heaven was the land of no-mores - no more tears, no more funerals, no more cancer diagnosis, no more worry about a loved one's suffering. Won't that be great - no more funerals ever???? I thought of mom and my grandfathers and all the people that had passed. I thought of the struggle of our day to day lives and how that will be no more. Bro. David talked about that in heaven we will have times of reunion with friends and family. What a great day that will be! Jeff Lemmons sang a song about our relatives walking us through the streets of gold showing us the sights. I don't know if that's how it will be, but it's a nice thought, and I know heaven is better than we can even imagine. Anyway, so then we sang, and I just sang and sang longing for the time of heaven to come and our next world. Licking my wounds still a little. But something was nagging the back of my mind as well.

Just yesterday morning before church, we heard a story on the news (some of you may have heard it earlier) where a woman in IL was murdered by her babysitter, a friend she had grown up with. Not only that, but the woman cut out the murdered woman's unborn baby who was seven months old, tried to take him to the hospital t pass him off as her own, and the baby died. To make it worse, she had taken the woman's three other children, ages 7, 2, and 1, drowned them, and then stuffed the seven year old in the dryer and the 2 and 1 year old in the washer. Oh, it makes my stomach sick. Horribly brutal.

In the midst of my Eeyore-isms, I got a flash of those poor children and that mother. What that scene must have been like, and I wondered what kind of person (with children of her own) could do that to a lifelong friend and her children. Oh, then I really began to long for heaven. I thought of the horrible, obscene things that we here happening on this earth and what a contrast those are to the glory and love of God. What Christ must think as He looks down upon us. It makes me sick! I cried for that family as we sang about heaven, and I really wished for heaven then.

Last night, I even had a dream. (Okay, two dreams, one was about the Gilmore Girls girl - the daughter - moving to my small town in Hawaii and she was early pregnant, obvious only to me apparently - I asked her if she was pregnant, but her Gilmore Girl's mom jumped in and denied it rather vehemently. Suspicious eh?) Ok, back on subject. So, my other dream was so scary that I woke up tense and terrified. I was living somewhere, and next door to me I could hear a woman being abused. I heard the slaps, I heard her thrown up against the wall, I heard her cries, and it scared me to death. I woke up glad that it was just a dream, and I felt God telling me, yes it was, but it's a reality for women's lives everywhere. There are women and children every single day who live a life of hellish atrocities. Ones they feel they cannot speak of but only accept with fear. I did some research in HS and college about abused women. One study compared them to a dog that is in a cage. Everytime the dog tries to leave and go through a door, he gets a shock from the door. This is repeated so often that even when the cage is left wide open and the door removed, the dog is so terrified of the shock that he won't even attempt to leave. The same with abused women, they are so fearful of the abuse, they can't leave even when there is a clear, safe way out.

God really spoke to me last night and said, get over yourself, really - YOUR life is horrible? Because you have the means to work? Because your children are in safe, Christian environments? Of course I never consciously thought of my life being worse than an abused woman's. But, I think everyone can get that way at times. We lose perspective, we spiral into self-pity, and we become Eeyores.

Needless to say, God has put my life in perspective. Bro. David also touched on the fact that ALL will bow down to Christ on that glorious day. We sang the song about "all will say, 'Glorious'". That woman who killed those children will bow down and say Glorious. Kings will surrender their crowns, Hitler will bow down, the most horrible, evil people this world has seen will bow down and worship Christ. Everyone. All wrongs will be made right. And all will come to the knowledge that Jesus is our Lord and Savior and that He should be worshipped! WHO HOO!!!!!! What a day that will be. Everyone will worship Christ, but how much better for the ones who will worship Christ and stay in heaven than the ones who will worship Christ with sorrow that they did not follow him and must go live an eternity in hell?

Who cares if I am working or not with my children? That is not my sole purpose on this earth. My purpose is to bring as many people to Christ so that they may join with me on that day and get to STAY in heaven. To worship Christ with full joy and love, not with a heart that is convicted once it is too late. So, I have many of you in my prayers. Those that don't have a TRUE relationship with Christ. I'm not talking about the I go to church once a week and love God relationship. I'm talking about a relationship with Christ.

Think about relationships we have with friends and family. We miss them when we don't spend time with them. We have a desire to know what is going on and care about what their thoughts are about us. The same with Christ. You don't have to have a quiet time daily to prove your relationship with Christ. But, when you miss a day or two, do you miss God? Do you miss the closeness of your relationship with him? Matt 7:21-23 says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' " The bible talks about that there will be people that get to heaven and say, But, God, I love you, you are my Lord. And He will say, I never knew you. There are people who think that they are Christians that aren't.

Do you remember a specific day that you COMMITTED your life to Christ? Do you remember saying, Jesus take control and meaning it. There has to be a specific time in your life that you made that decision. Jesus asks us to mark that time in our lives with baptism. Baptism doesn't save you, but it shows your obedience and commitment to Christ. And, a marker of a true relationship with Christ is that you don't make decisions on your own. You dont' do what your flesh wants to do, you follow CHRIST! Salvation is not being a good person. There are lots of good people I know, some friends, that are not saved. Being saved is not having gone to church all of your life and being a good person. And once you're a Christian, this doesn't mean that you don't make mistakes. I mess up all the time!! There are plenty of people whose lives look better than mine who are not saved. But, it's your heart - do you strive to follow God, do you have a hunger for him?, do you want to do his work, is your life based on his plans and his will?

My prayer is for those of you that are not saved. And those people I come into contact with that I don't know. Give me the eyes of Christ Lord. Let me see the people that I need to touch. But, also, I pray, as Bro. David said yesterday, that God brings everything necessary into your life to bring you to him whether it be pain and sorrow or not.

Give your life to Christ before it's too late. You will bow down to him one day or another anyway. Do it with joy and not regret. Come hang out in the land of no-mores with me and all the saints of the past and the glory of God!

I know I've gotten preachy, but I really feel passionate about this. If you need more information, ask me or check out this website! KNOWJESUS

I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!